grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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