Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
