can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
