Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
