You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
