she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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