Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize