It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
