zippers are such a cool invention
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
