I can text with my tongue
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
