the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
you never un-have a 4some
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
