just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
