Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
