Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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