Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
