He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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