So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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