I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
