I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
do nipples grow back?
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