I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
