i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
