we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize