omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
God, I missed his penis.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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