Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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