Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
