Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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