I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
