My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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