FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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