My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
