I think i peed on brittanys purse
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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