doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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