just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
