She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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