I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
