ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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