Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
