yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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