the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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