Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
