Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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