I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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