if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
