your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
