you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
