do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
