i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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