I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
