So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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