no, he came in my armpit
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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