I cut my penus on the lid.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
