Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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