Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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