I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
