I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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