I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
