You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
