highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Actions speak louder than pants.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Randomize
