How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
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