we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
