He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
