i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
