i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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