Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
