The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
