You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.