white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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