I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
