Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
