So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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